The Dating (online or otherwise) Megathread

[Cyberius]

New picture(s) up. It's better, but I'll probably get a better one here soon. I also made a few additions across my profile. Well, one.

Again, thanks for the help and support.

[Miles Standoffish]

man I'm tempted to just start sending out messages that consist of nothing but "yo toots look at profile, if you want further contact initiate it, if not death upon your house, peace"

[ChildOWind]

I just had a friend tell me that whenever OKCupid tells her "y'all got issues" it's read in my voice. I don't know whether to be proud or confused.

[Benjamin Erle]

Originally Posted by Miles Standoffish

man I'm tempted to just start sending out messages that consist of nothing but "yo toots look at profile, if you want further contact initiate it, if not death upon your house, peace"

this is pretty much (minus perhaps the death part) all you really need to send

[Miles Standoffish]

The question remains, then, why am I returning the favor (if we are to call it that)? In the interest of balancing pedagogy with entertainment, I am going to give you multiple choice options for you to ponder. Please note that more than one of the choices may be correct:

this is the last third of a response I got from that girl, there truly is justice the world

a) I am running low on acid sugar cubes and figure you might have some.
b) I think you're a sociopath and I need another case study for my dissertation.

c) I am also hyped up on caffeine and haven't sleep in like 24 hours.
d) I do indeed have a pathologically morbid sense of curiosity. Which will probably be the cause of my death. As the saying goes.
e) I have a time machine and would like you to go back in time and kill the Wachowskis before they make movies 2 & 3. Please.
f) I didn't actually read your whole message
g) I am a shameless rubbernecker and you seem to be a promising train-wreck.
h) I'm doing my dissertation on Histrionic Personality Disorder and I need more subjects.
i) I'm shallow. You're hot. I don't give a shit what you have to say.
j) I get tons of lame messages on here, and yours was the first entertaining, original message that made me smile in some time.

[Miles Standoffish]

there literally is a god

[Atheist Panda]

I am a shameless rubbernecker and you seem to be a promising train-wreck.

I'm in love with that sentence.

[b.glad]

So, I changed my status to "seeing someone" the other night and this guy was very concerned that I wasn't straight up getting rid of OkCupid altogether and decided he should tell me what for!

if you're no longer single delete your profile....unless you're on the fence with your guy....I mean seriously...considder it for his sake, as I see you are online now!!!

Oh man, you're so totally right, complete stranger who doesn't know me or my business!!!

EDIT: I also like the assumption that it's a guy, regardless of me being bi. I mean, it is a guy, but still!

[Miles Standoffish]

b.glad just considder it!!!!

[Lizard Wizard]

unless you're on the fence with your guy.... or girl.... I dont want to assume

[b.glad]

I guess he does use you're/your properly, so there's that.

[Brock Landers]

I have changed my profile to only movie quotes and made my picture myself sporting a fu manchu.

[Bassetking]

Originally Posted by M Nght Shamajoe

I have changed my profile to only movie quotes and made my picture myself sporting a fu manchu.

Make your profile picture that one of you grinning like an idiot in a bar over the Predators game. That one is Money.

[Miles Standoffish]

who will marry me


edit: please someone tell me

[The Conqueror Worm]

tony i will volunteer if no one else will

but first i will need liquor

[Brock Landers]

hi Sean

[The Conqueror Worm]

HI JOE

[Brock Landers]

check out my cool new profile

[Buckshot]

Originally Posted by M Nght Shamajoe

check out my cool new profile

I wasn't a fan but then I got to the Boogie Nights section and now I love it.

[AKBoarder]

Originally Posted by M Nght Shamajoe

I have changed my profile to only movie quotes and made my picture myself sporting a fu manchu.

Translated:

"I decided to ignore everyone's advice and make my profile the worst thing ever. I will still expect sympathy when I whine in a later thread about how I can't find girls and no one on OKCupid responds to my messages"

[Human]

Joe, what is it about you that inspires so much realtalk

[The Conqueror Worm]

A+

if chick, would date

[Brock Landers]

Originally Posted by AKBoarder

Translated:

"I decided to ignore everyone's advice and make my profile the worst thing ever. I will still expect sympathy when I whine in a later thread about how I can't find girls and no one on OKCupid responds to my messages"

well no one responded to my messages before

[AKBoarder]

Maybe you should enlist the services of STEFAN to tidy up your profile and give it a kick in the pants. Also, take a better picture.

[Brock Landers]

Maybe. For today, I am drunk and all morose about girls and slightly trolling okcupid