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Old 2010-11-02, 12:51 PM   #2601
Makes no Spence
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Originally Posted by The Conqueror Worm View Post
Having Facebook relationships is kind of lame, anyhow. If it's serious, it is likely that everyone who matters already knows. Facebooking it is just kind of like doodling in a yearbook, "So-and-so likes Blah-dee-blah." It just looks kind of silly.
Maybe we're total dorks but the night we got married we were pretty excited to make it Facebook Official after the reception, hahaha.
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Old 2010-11-02, 12:54 PM   #2602
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Old 2010-11-02, 12:56 PM   #2603
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We decided to discontinue it on a trial basis.
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Old 2010-11-02, 1:13 PM   #2604
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Facebook relationship statuses are awesome and the best thing.
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Old 2010-11-02, 2:16 PM   #2605
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Maybe we're total dorks but the night we got married we were pretty excited to make it Facebook Official after the reception, hahaha.
No, that's adorable and completely different from what we're talking about, I think. Marriage is a commitment - duh - so it really should be Facebook official.

At least personally, I was talking about every whackjob you go on a date with.
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Old 2010-11-02, 2:21 PM   #2606
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When someone wants to Facebook Relationship you after only a couple of dates, that's when you should run. It is a big red flag if you're not some crazy commitment whackadoo looking to get married right away. Same goes for meeting the parents!
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Old 2010-11-02, 2:24 PM   #2607
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When someone wants to Facebook Relationship you after only a couple of dates, that's when you should run. It is a big red flag if you're not some crazy commitment whackadoo looking to get married right away. Same goes for meeting the parents!
Ditto. That's crazy insane! After a couple dates, you're still getting to know each other and you're definitely not in any committed relationship by then. Run away as fast as you can!
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Old 2010-11-02, 2:31 PM   #2608
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Yeah, and the ear isn't the only thing that can keep someone from being physically unable to hear/understand things.

I was tested multiple times for my hearing as a kid. But I wasn't hard or hearing - in fact I was over-sensitive to hearing. Eventually the doctors told my parents "oh she can hear you, she just doesn't want to listen to you." (Thanks a lot, doctors! What's next, are you off to go smack some left-handed child for not wanting to write with their right hand?)

Twenty years later, it turns out my chronic "What?" "Sorry, what was that?" "Come again?" was caused by a probable combination of ADD and actual auditory processing problems. Which my mom turned out to have as well, funny enough, so there may be some genetic component.

So yes, I'm listening when someone talks. But my brain also needs extra context to help translate the sounds - probably lip reading, body gesture, extra context from the overall conversation. If you suddenly just put out a non-sequitor comment my brain isn't expecting, or do it while there is extra noise complicating the sounds, it may take an extra second for my brain to translate - or I may not get it at all.

So. Yeah. If this is an actual problem in the relationship, or you feel like it's impacting her life/work, encourage her to get a hearing test. But don't assume she's just "not wanting to listen" even if the hearing test comes out fine.

It's okay to get annoyed by constantly repeating yourself. But I really do ask you to consider this - if you think it sucks having to say things twice, imagine hearing people talking to you all the time and not quite getting it, and having to ask them to repeat themselves. It's embarrassing and annoying all in one.
I have just Internet Diagnosed myself with this problem. If I'm not actively expecting someone to say something, it takes me a few seconds to process what was said. In the meantime, I probably already said, "What?" This is especially bad on the phone.

I don't know if it's related, but I'm also horrible at reading lips. It's like I NEED the two together in order to hear properly. It drives my wife crazy.
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Old 2010-11-02, 3:44 PM   #2609
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All you need to do is coordinate with the one you're getting into or out of a relationship with (easier for one of the two options...) and just insta-delete the news feed it will create. The status change will then be erased before anyone has time to see and respond to it.

edit - 2 instadeletes are required. For the news feed you provoke in both accounts, and for the news feed the other person provokes in both accounts.
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Old 2010-11-02, 4:56 PM   #2610
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Originally Posted by Mü0n View Post
All you need to do is coordinate with the one you're getting into or out of a relationship with (easier for one of the two options...) and just insta-delete the news feed it will create. The status change will then be erased before anyone has time to see and respond to it.
Yeah...but it's still on your profile if you're getting into it! No no no and more no.

He accidentally met my parents. I think that's why he's so serious, among other issues, like craziness.

I'M STILL RANTING. When I got home from class, he was asleep on my bed so I had to be super quiet for like 3 hours and sneak around my room. This is crazy.
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Old 2010-11-02, 5:01 PM   #2611
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Stop doing that! Wake his ass up and just tell him you want to step things back a bit because he is trying to kick it into serious mode and you sound like you want something much more casual and relaxed.

REMEMBER KIDS: Just say "no" to meeting parents and Facebook status changes.
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Old 2010-11-02, 5:03 PM   #2612
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I tell my mom about every poster on the forums and which ones she should troll
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Old 2010-11-02, 5:09 PM   #2613
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Actually in all seriousness I never tell my mom about any girls I meet because as soon as I do I get asked "DO YOU LIKE HER???"
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Old 2010-11-02, 5:26 PM   #2614
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Also you shouldn't lie to your mother.
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Old 2010-11-02, 5:28 PM   #2615
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Originally Posted by w3nch View Post
He accidentally met my parents. I think that's why he's so serious, among other issues, like craziness.

I'M STILL RANTING. When I got home from class, he was asleep on my bed so I had to be super quiet for like 3 hours and sneak around my room. This is crazy.
Ho,ho,ho whoa, that sounds pretty wacky. Though, by 'wacky', I mean, 'actually kind of scary'.

I mean, is he at least... well adjusted? Do you think he's at least an emotionally stable person and wouldn't do something kind of 'rash' if you let him know in uncertain terms how you felt?
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Old 2010-11-02, 5:44 PM   #2616
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Don't date whackjobs
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Old 2010-11-02, 5:46 PM   #2617
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Also, be careful with the letting them down easy thing. Some (many?) guys may take that as you being hesitant and not really sure you want to kick their ass out of your life, and redouble their efforts to convince you that you really want to stay together.
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Old 2010-11-02, 5:49 PM   #2618
The Conqueror Worm
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Don't date whackjobs
Also, don't date forumites.
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Old 2010-11-02, 5:54 PM   #2619
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Actually in all seriousness I never tell my mom about any girls I meet because as soon as I do I get asked "DO YOU LIKE HER???"
Haha that's how it is with my grandparents...

I still think your mom is pretty awesome the few times that I've met her.
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Old 2010-11-02, 6:06 PM   #2620
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Originally Posted by whaler View Post
One of my best friends in college had that same problem Kaete. He'd usually just go huh? or make some other noise and then respond to what you said after processing it, so most of the time I never bothered repeating myself I'd just patiently wait haha. We all just got used to it and eventually didn't even really notice.

He was tested for it and got a special registration date for classes haha since it's considered a learning disability but he college.
Haha jeez. I do this and for the most part nobody notices or just sort of rolls with it but once in a while it drives someone bananas. I don't mean to! I sort of assumed this was just me being spacey.
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Old 2010-11-02, 6:07 PM   #2621
Davmeister84
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I am feel under the weather and need to get some work done. It's frustrating as hell having these sorts of issues to sort through while getting the job done.
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Old 2010-11-02, 6:11 PM   #2622
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Actually in all seriousness I never tell my mom about any girls I meet because as soon as I do I get asked "DO YOU LIKE HER???"
When we hung out, didn't she just ask if I was old?

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Also, don't date forumites.
Good advice.
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Old 2010-11-02, 6:48 PM   #2623
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When we hung out, didn't she just ask if I was old?
Yes, but after I got back from the meet she asked me if I liked you.
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I still think your mom is pretty awesome the few times that I've met her.
She is cool! She's just Italian, that's all
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Old 2010-11-02, 6:55 PM   #2624
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Old 2010-11-02, 6:59 PM   #2625
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He accidentally met my parents. I think that's why he's so serious, among other issues, like craziness.

I'M STILL RANTING. When I got home from class, he was asleep on my bed so I had to be super quiet for like 3 hours and sneak around my room. This is crazy.
This is actually remarkably like how my mom met one of my ex-es for the first time.

We had just begun dating, and I had just had a car accident which immobilized my left arm. Then-girlfriend stopped by early morning to see if I needed help with anything. I drag her into bed.

Well my Mom also stopped by to see if I needed help. And just waltzes on in to my bedroom because my still-drunk alcoholic roommate lets her in. Sees the two of us in bed, cuddling, obviously naked. Mother runs out screaming. I was going to bring the girl to dinner so she could meet my family that night.

I walk in the door, and the first thing my stepdad says is "Well, I hear all the important parts still work."
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