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Old 2010-11-02, 2:43 AM   #2576
Jarp Habib
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Goodbye dollars.
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Old 2010-11-02, 8:47 AM   #2577
w3nch
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I'm so sick of every guy in my life thinking he's the only one or something special. I know that sounds really rude, but no, I'm just nice to everyone.

No, I don't want to date you and have extra pressure.
No, I will not be your "girlfriend" on facebook.
And for fucks sakes, don't tell your mom about me.

This is a short thing that will end in wreck and ruin and I told you that to begin with and remind you as often as I can without being mean. I just got out of a relationship and you are a friend. It's nothing special. </fume>
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Old 2010-11-02, 8:52 AM   #2578
whaler
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Oh god the next facebook relationship I'm going to be in is going to be "it's complicated with cheese" or something
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Old 2010-11-02, 8:55 AM   #2579
w3nch
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Yeah, facebook relationship status not for rent. Engagement is iffy and I will only commit to marriage. Or cheese! Cheese is a good idea.
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Old 2010-11-02, 8:56 AM   #2580
whaler
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Ok you can have cheese, I'm settling down with beer

Haha yeah I kind of decided I don't want to meet another guy's parents unless he is very serious. Does that sound bad? Sorry I've met and grown attached to far too many people's moms!
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Old 2010-11-02, 8:58 AM   #2581
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Old 2010-11-02, 9:00 AM   #2582
whaler
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Don't worry I'm not after your girl, I'm interested in her Belgian cousin.
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Old 2010-11-02, 9:08 AM   #2583
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Quote:
Originally Posted by w3nch View Post
I'm so sick of every guy in my life thinking he's the only one or something special. I know that sounds really rude, but no, I'm just nice to everyone.

No, I don't want to date you and have extra pressure.
No, I will not be your "girlfriend" on facebook.
And for fucks sakes, don't tell your mom about me.

This is a short thing that will end in wreck and ruin and I told you that to begin with and remind you as often as I can without being mean. I just got out of a relationship and you are a friend. It's nothing special. </fume>
You took the words right out of my mouth. Why are we stupid? Why do we put ourselves in these dicey situations?

blargh!
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Old 2010-11-02, 9:11 AM   #2584
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Psychomancer View Post
Dear Wife of Mine:

If you answer one more of my questions with "Huh?" "I don't know what you're saying," or "I didn't catch that," I'm just going to shout around you from now on. About everything. I will yell for you to pass the salt. I will bellow as loudly as I can for you to bring me the car keys. I will scream that I will be right home after work.

You are not hard of hearing; you just don't listen, and I'm fucking tired of repeating myself all the time.
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I'm not being snarky but curious, has she had a hearing test lately? My partner's parents were on the brink of divorce until they found out that she was basically deaf in one ear and had never noticed.

If it isn't that I'd just start screwing around. Say something completely different the second time.
Yeah, and the ear isn't the only thing that can keep someone from being physically unable to hear/understand things.

I was tested multiple times for my hearing as a kid. But I wasn't hard or hearing - in fact I was over-sensitive to hearing. Eventually the doctors told my parents "oh she can hear you, she just doesn't want to listen to you." (Thanks a lot, doctors! What's next, are you off to go smack some left-handed child for not wanting to write with their right hand?)

Twenty years later, it turns out my chronic "What?" "Sorry, what was that?" "Come again?" was caused by a probable combination of ADD and actual auditory processing problems. Which my mom turned out to have as well, funny enough, so there may be some genetic component.

So yes, I'm listening when someone talks. But my brain also needs extra context to help translate the sounds - probably lip reading, body gesture, extra context from the overall conversation. If you suddenly just put out a non-sequitor comment my brain isn't expecting, or do it while there is extra noise complicating the sounds, it may take an extra second for my brain to translate - or I may not get it at all.

So. Yeah. If this is an actual problem in the relationship, or you feel like it's impacting her life/work, encourage her to get a hearing test. But don't assume she's just "not wanting to listen" even if the hearing test comes out fine.

It's okay to get annoyed by constantly repeating yourself. But I really do ask you to consider this - if you think it sucks having to say things twice, imagine hearing people talking to you all the time and not quite getting it, and having to ask them to repeat themselves. It's embarrassing and annoying all in one.

Last edited by Kaete; 2010-11-02 at 9:14 AM.
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Old 2010-11-02, 9:15 AM   #2585
whaler
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One of my best friends in college had that same problem Kaete. He'd usually just go huh? or make some other noise and then respond to what you said after processing it, so most of the time I never bothered repeating myself I'd just patiently wait haha. We all just got used to it and eventually didn't even really notice.

He was tested for it and got a special registration date for classes haha since it's considered a learning disability but he college.
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Old 2010-11-02, 9:17 AM   #2586
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaete View Post

So yes, I'm listening when someone talks. But my brain also needs extra context to help translate the sounds - probably lip reading, body gesture, extra context from the overall conversation.
I'm very much the same way. Being on the phone is always especially hard for me for this reason. But since I've had to work at call centers, I always just write down bullets of what someone's said and then repeat it back to them saying, "To clarify . . . " so I don't get in trouble later.
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Old 2010-11-02, 9:21 AM   #2587
Kaete
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Originally Posted by whaler View Post
One of my best friends in college had that same problem Kaete. He'd usually just go huh? or make some other noise and then respond to what you said after processing it, so most of the time I never bothered repeating myself I'd just patiently wait haha. We all just got used to it and eventually didn't even really notice.
Ha, yeah, I do that too, it is SO WEIRD. It takes just enough time for me to say "Uh, what?" and then my brain will be done figuring out the sentence and suddenly present it to me.

Keep in mind that I only am really aware of this now in hindsight and extra knowledge - for a very long time I wasn't aware of what I was doing, because I had no other frame of reference. And it's not a constant problem either - just a small one when I'm not expecting a sentence or if I have no context, like being on the phone with a stranger. (no visual clues, no preformed idea of what they might be talking about.)
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Old 2010-11-02, 9:22 AM   #2588
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Ha, there's a question to Dear Prudence today about this very thing.
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Old 2010-11-02, 10:25 AM   #2589
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Kaete View Post
Ha, yeah, I do that too, it is SO WEIRD. It takes just enough time for me to say "Uh, what?" and then my brain will be done figuring out the sentence and suddenly present it to me.

Oh man, I do this a lot. Someone will say something to me, but if I wasn't specifically looking at them and paying attention to what they were about to say, I go "What? Oh yeah 'blah blah blah'." It takes me like, one or two seconds to replay what I heard in my head and actually *listen* to it, but by that time I've already said "Huh?"
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Old 2010-11-02, 10:42 AM   #2590
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Originally Posted by Squigit View Post
Oh man, I do this a lot. Someone will say something to me, but if I wasn't specifically looking at them and paying attention to what they were about to say, I go "What? Oh yeah 'blah blah blah'." It takes me like, one or two seconds to replay what I heard in my head and actually *listen* to it, but by that time I've already said "Huh?"
That happens to me too sometimes. Sometimes I'll have to have people repeat what they say two or three times and it's embarrassing that my brain doesn't want to understand.
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Old 2010-11-02, 10:43 AM   #2591
Makes no Spence
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Some little fucker decided to smash Cameron Frye's back window in on his car. This is going to cost around 400 dollars to fix and we get to pay out of pocket. Just fucking lovely. And even better, we discovered this on our way out for me to bring him to the airport because he's in NY until Friday for work.

I want to punch whoever did this in the face. They didn't steal anything, and they didn't touch my car which is parked right next to his in our driveway.

We have no idea why someone would do this to his car only; he doesn't have any enemies or anything, didn't cut anyone off in traffic in our area, etc. No other vehicles in our neighborhood were touched, either. Ugh this fucking blows. $400 because some asshole decides he wants to smash in a car window for no reason.
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Old 2010-11-02, 11:27 AM   #2592
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SSRI withdrawal is good times.
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Old 2010-11-02, 11:55 AM   #2593
w3nch
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Originally Posted by Requesting Bear View Post
You took the words right out of my mouth. Why are we stupid? Why do we put ourselves in these dicey situations?

blargh!
Seems like we are going through all the same stuff lately. We need a two-man support group and lots of booze!
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Old 2010-11-02, 11:57 AM   #2594
whaler
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You guys can borrow my sign that I keep on at all times "Damaged Goods"
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Old 2010-11-02, 12:21 PM   #2595
Requesting Bear
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Originally Posted by w3nch View Post
Seems like we are going through all the same stuff lately. We need a two-man support group and lots of booze!
There was a conversation that has cleared things up I believe but I will still provide booze and support.
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Old 2010-11-02, 12:25 PM   #2596
Aries Walker
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That Facebook relationship update has done its best to ensure that every new relationship has a coming out party, and every painful breakup is broadcast to every relative, friend, acquaintance, and high school classmate that you know. Inevitably, it spawns a cavalcade of well-meaning but not-helping "Oh no! What happened?" messages from people who apparently have never had a breakup, or forgotten what one feels like. It's kind of a pain in the ass.

Makes me wish there was a "none of your fucking business" option.
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Old 2010-11-02, 12:29 PM   #2597
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Does it show up if you just drop the relationship status all together? I was thinking that it didn't.
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Old 2010-11-02, 12:33 PM   #2598
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Does it show up if you just drop the relationship status all together? I was thinking that it didn't.
Last I saw/checked, it would still put something in your feed about how you're "no long listed as single/in a relationship" etc. even if you drop it all together, so you'll still get people asking about it. When I did that, I preempted it by making a status update that was basically "Nothing happened, I just didn't want to have any kind of relationship status on Facebook anymore" and no one said anything.
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Old 2010-11-02, 12:37 PM   #2599
whaler
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Originally Posted by Aries Walker View Post
That Facebook relationship update has done its best to ensure that every new relationship has a coming out party, and every painful breakup is broadcast to every relative, friend, acquaintance, and high school classmate that you know. Inevitably, it spawns a cavalcade of well-meaning but not-helping "Oh no! What happened?" messages from people who apparently have never had a breakup, or forgotten what one feels like. It's kind of a pain in the ass.

Makes me wish there was a "none of your fucking business" option.
See I actually like that aspect of it, not having to tell every single person I know that I've been dumped. They just all know and we won't have to have an awkward conversation about it some time down the line. Of course we'll still have a conversation about it, but they won't start it with their foot in their mouth.

They should just make it so you can't comment directly on it or like it, like my mother did >.<
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Old 2010-11-02, 12:47 PM   #2600
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Originally Posted by b.glad View Post
Last I saw/checked, it would still put something in your feed about how you're "no long listed as single/in a relationship" etc. even if you drop it all together, so you'll still get people asking about it. When I did that, I preempted it by making a status update that was basically "Nothing happened, I just didn't want to have any kind of relationship status on Facebook anymore" and no one said anything.
Yeah, I'm pretty sure mine popped up as something like, "Sean is no longer single," when I removed my status. It just didn't post a, "Sean is now listed as [THIS]" follow-up.

Having Facebook relationships is kind of lame, anyhow. If it's serious, it is likely that everyone who matters already knows. Facebooking it is just kind of like doodling in a yearbook, "So-and-so likes Blah-dee-blah." It just looks kind of silly.
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